MC Cities Fan Fiction: Ghostbusters

[CreeperGamer]

This Fan Fiction has been deleted!

 

[Jo3512]

This is a good start. I hope you continue to be inspired by me! Also quick mention ciel isn't the police chief in game, He is the minister of security.
Didn't know if you knew this. Keep up the good work

 

[CreeperGamer]

This is a good start. I hope you continue to be inspired by me! Also quick mention ciel isn't the police chief in game, He is the minister of security.
Didn't know if you knew this. Keep up the good work

I'll make sure to fix it, when I get home at 1:50pm or 2:00pm depending on when the bell rings!

 

[Deleted member 832]

Great story!

 

[Jo3512]

Nice work. May i suggest making small paragraphs so its easier to read? Nice work

 

[Bleach]

Everythings good and all but i noticed how you switched the person between paragraphs like from 3rd person to 1st person

 

[CreeperGamer]

Nice work. May i suggest making small paragraphs so its easier to read? Nice work

Yes I will make smaller paragraphs from now on! If it'll make it easier to read I shall do smaller paragraphs from now on. I just need the number of sentences to start.

 

[CreeperGamer]

Everythings good and all but i noticed how you switched the person between paragraphs like from 3rd person to 1st person

I did it for suspense. Before: What will happen if RealCreeperGamer doesn't act quick enough?! After: What'll happen if I don't act quick enough to save my friends?!

 

[Bleach]

I did it for suspense. Before: What will happen if RealCreeperGamer doesn't act quick enough?! After: What'll happen if I don't act quick enough to save my friends?!

Ah ok that makes sense