My Fanfic: The McCities Quest

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Hello all! As you know, I promised to write a fan fiction, and here it is!!! I will be editing this post to add new chapters when they are finished! If you have a role, please note that I cannot have you in every chapter, for the sake of not having it a 12 way conversation. If you do not have a role and are interested in one, please post on my other thread with your ign and who you want to be.

Characters:
Aceetine: Aceenity, villian
Tiger: TheDiamondTiger, god of war
Lord Cake: JummyCake, Lord of the gods
CP: Xx_Die_xX (me!), Main Character 1
Hawk: _Bl4ckH4wk_, Main Character 2

Prologue: The First Calling

The gods came into the first chamber of their foe, Aceetine. He was gone. Tiger exchanged a dark look with Lord Cake. They knew the stakes. The uprising was beginning.
Far below, in the place the gods called 'Human Planet,' two best friends were walking around. Hawk and CP meandering through the central city, enjoying a day to themselves. Suddenly, they heard a faint noise, growing louder and louder
"We are the gods, who you may not see
We are those two keep with thee
We chose you, young heroes,
For a quest. Our enemies awake, they do not rest..."
And the voices went away as quick as they came.
"What was that?" Questioned Hawk. Hawk and I lived in McCites- we saw many weird things on our trips around the city. We saw midevil builds in the city, and the next day they were gone. We saw people disappear, banned from ever coming back. We saw some of the coolest things as well. The architects had the COOLEST window displays in their shops, with some amazing builds. We even saw a police chasing a criminal once! So much was weird in McCities, but this was not weird. It was troubling. Not the voices, but the calling. Hawk and CP were drawn to the voices. They walked past the apartment building they lived in, even though it was time for lunch. They walked past the EUNbucks shops, selling their mochas on a warm Sunday. They walked all the way up the mountain, on the stone staircase, now even more withered than that of before. The grass seemed to be swaying, sending off a vibe like the two friends shouldn't be there. They hiked all the way up the ancient looking stones, withered by years of erosion. They looked up to see a rock, like an pedestal, with engravings on it, but not English engravings. Roman engravings.
"What is this?" Asked Hawk.
"This is the bane of your existence, young Hawk," Said a man dressed in a purple tunic, with pictures of cakes circling the elegant designs.
"Who are you???" I responded.
"I am Lord Cake, Lord of all the gods. I have come with troubling news, the news of Aceetine."
"Aceetine?" Hawk said.
"Hmm, you have a lot to learn if you are to be those to complete the quest." Muttered Lord Cake.
Thoughts were swirling around CP's head, like wind in the clouds. Aceetine? Quest? Gods? He shook It off in disbelief.
"Yes, I know what you are thinking, CP. Let me answer your questions. I am a god, we are gods." With this Cake spread his hands and images of people appeared, all using different weapons, demonstrating different skill sets. "We are the protectors of your city. Your ancestors helped us in another time of peril, and they asked for 1 request: to protect their city. We have protected McCities for millennia. Why do you think there are no wars? Floods? Hunger? Droughts? We have used our powers to help you, whether you realize it or not. We have kept the city safe, but in our oblivion, we have lost sight of the large threat: Aceetine. Aceetine spreads poison with a step of his feet, and turns men to stone by looking at them. You were chosen by us to defeat him, and his henchmen of evil. Us gods cannot do it, we have to rely of you. The fate of the world rests on you. You must defeat him." Lord Cake finished. With that he looked over quickly to his left, and said, "Evil stirs. Be ready at ever corner. Good luck!!!" And with that he started to float up, through the clouds. A shadow rose steadily, with a loud boom coming from the creature owning it. But, CP and Hawk soon saw that the creature did not have a shadow... the creature was a shadow...

I hope you like the prologue of my fanfic! Make sure to give me suggestions on what I should add!!!
 

Powerfull

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This is really good! I cant wait for the next chapter (I suggest making smaller paragraphs so its easier to read)
Sure! This one was hard, because I had to make the intro, so there was a lot of talking but thanks for the feedback! I'll try and put up the next chapter soon!!!
 

Powerfull

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It tied in Eun! Advertisements in my fanfics only cost 500 xD
 
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Powerfull

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Love it (mainly cuz I'm in it), plus ha I'm mentioned before @Coban . I do recommend changing the place the characters live to Cayman, New City, a city in Cayman (ex. Maple, or Central City) or an island (*cough* Paradise Island is a nice place *cough*) because those are actually places in McCities.
Ok, thanks for the suggestions TheDiamondTiger!!!