Same, I'm not happy either.. just lying to myself really, trying to stay positive so I wouldn't collapse. But happiness is funny when you think about it, just a matter of perspective really. A spark we seek, yet hate so much that we don't want it around.
My life is a lie I go on the internet and look for answers and I now know I have been dead and blind my whole life. To believe in something, I made myself feel twice as worst but I know the truth. To know you lost something valuable hurts but to know the truth behind it hurts more than it will ever hurt
I too have lost many valuable things to my heart over the years, we all do. And it wouldn't be a lie if your feelings were true, whether it is virtual or real, emotions are our fuel. As long as you can feel sadness and pain, you are alright.