After Eunmins leaving post, I was inspired to put out there what being staff was like for me. Hopefully people wishing to be staff could get an (inside??) view on it. [This is all my opinion. I am not saying that all staff are like this, and every staff member is the same. This is all my experience, personal.] Also I would like to say I'm not trying to hold grudges, just share my story.0
When I first joined, I felt very welcome. The other staff members gave me guidance and help when needed. I tried my best to help out as much as possible, everything was fine. I remember telling my mum how excited I was, she probably got annoyed at me screaming all the time. It was fun having everyone congratulate you, but don't want to be full of myself.
[Moving up to t-mod] I was overwhelmed with happiness, (is that a thing what) I was so happy and thankful. I kept doing my best in game and trying to make myself as good as possible performance wise. Staff were always there to help me. When I had problems, they were there to guide and help. Everything was fine for awhile.
[In the middle of being t-mod] I started to put my minecraft job over my health. I'd stay up late, to 5am some nights. It was constant, I'd refuse to sleep and instead I'd hang out with online friends and call them. I'd help out and make sure my performance was the best. If you are becoming staff or want to, honestly. Don't stay up late. It has huge consequences and is pointless. Then I got the principal job. I wanted to host school as much as possible, have a huge staff team and be as good as I could be. That would also include me staying up late.
Then the teacher team got too big, I was told to fire lots of them. When I did that, a few weeks later they made me accept applications and spend all my time on school. Thats probably when my performance as t-mod went down. Its hard. You cant do two jobs like that at once.
[Nearing the end] I'd try not to come on, I was scared. Mostly for the same reasons Eunmin said. Then my tests came around. These are important to me, they determine what set I'm in for my huge exams. I needed to pass them. I devoted my time to studying, and always made sure to apologize to the staff team and tell them my reason. I'd apologize so much. If you have important tests, in my opinion you shouldn't spend time on a virtual game. Its distracting.
[Evaluations + after] I came back after a few tests, I tried to be active but I was upset about what i'd missed and friends i'd lost. I felt hated and judged. I cant help it, I honestly cant help having tests. I do not understand why that is such a huge problem. If I was any other person I'd be fine. I started getting a bit of anxiety thinking about my job, and how it was impacting my school life. When evaluations came around, the thing they pointed out was my inactivity and how they were "unhappy" with it. I was confused, i told them and apologized so many times. They always said it was fine, if it was fine why was I being reprimanded for it? {rhetorical question leaf me alone}. This made me constantly upset, I tried my best to be active. this is honestly not fair. If I could give advice, to anyone; it would be to not make anyone feel so low that they get unhealthy and upset. The staff team pretty much ignored me, again I felt hated. I could not help living in a country with a different time zone. I love this server, but it felt like a chore. It felt like something I was forced to do. I was scared to tell anyone how I felt, until Eve told me how she felt. We decided together that we would leave. I admit, when we left I cried a bit. Thinking about my old friends and my memories made me upset. I wrote a letter to laggy explaining how much I miss him and care about him, that made me cry the most. You are all kind people inside, don't let arguments and a game change who you are and make you loose friends. Emphasis on game.
Thanks for reading if you did, hopefully this will show its not as easy as it looks.
RuPaul quotes I love:
"You're a champion, greatest of them all."
"If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else"
"Don't get bitter, just get better"
"If I dream all the possibilities, if you just believe in your wildest dreams. They will come true"
SASHAY AWAY
When I first joined, I felt very welcome. The other staff members gave me guidance and help when needed. I tried my best to help out as much as possible, everything was fine. I remember telling my mum how excited I was, she probably got annoyed at me screaming all the time. It was fun having everyone congratulate you, but don't want to be full of myself.
[Moving up to t-mod] I was overwhelmed with happiness, (is that a thing what) I was so happy and thankful. I kept doing my best in game and trying to make myself as good as possible performance wise. Staff were always there to help me. When I had problems, they were there to guide and help. Everything was fine for awhile.
[In the middle of being t-mod] I started to put my minecraft job over my health. I'd stay up late, to 5am some nights. It was constant, I'd refuse to sleep and instead I'd hang out with online friends and call them. I'd help out and make sure my performance was the best. If you are becoming staff or want to, honestly. Don't stay up late. It has huge consequences and is pointless. Then I got the principal job. I wanted to host school as much as possible, have a huge staff team and be as good as I could be. That would also include me staying up late.
Then the teacher team got too big, I was told to fire lots of them. When I did that, a few weeks later they made me accept applications and spend all my time on school. Thats probably when my performance as t-mod went down. Its hard. You cant do two jobs like that at once.
[Nearing the end] I'd try not to come on, I was scared. Mostly for the same reasons Eunmin said. Then my tests came around. These are important to me, they determine what set I'm in for my huge exams. I needed to pass them. I devoted my time to studying, and always made sure to apologize to the staff team and tell them my reason. I'd apologize so much. If you have important tests, in my opinion you shouldn't spend time on a virtual game. Its distracting.
[Evaluations + after] I came back after a few tests, I tried to be active but I was upset about what i'd missed and friends i'd lost. I felt hated and judged. I cant help it, I honestly cant help having tests. I do not understand why that is such a huge problem. If I was any other person I'd be fine. I started getting a bit of anxiety thinking about my job, and how it was impacting my school life. When evaluations came around, the thing they pointed out was my inactivity and how they were "unhappy" with it. I was confused, i told them and apologized so many times. They always said it was fine, if it was fine why was I being reprimanded for it? {rhetorical question leaf me alone}. This made me constantly upset, I tried my best to be active. this is honestly not fair. If I could give advice, to anyone; it would be to not make anyone feel so low that they get unhealthy and upset. The staff team pretty much ignored me, again I felt hated. I could not help living in a country with a different time zone. I love this server, but it felt like a chore. It felt like something I was forced to do. I was scared to tell anyone how I felt, until Eve told me how she felt. We decided together that we would leave. I admit, when we left I cried a bit. Thinking about my old friends and my memories made me upset. I wrote a letter to laggy explaining how much I miss him and care about him, that made me cry the most. You are all kind people inside, don't let arguments and a game change who you are and make you loose friends. Emphasis on game.
Thanks for reading if you did, hopefully this will show its not as easy as it looks.
RuPaul quotes I love:
"You're a champion, greatest of them all."
"If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else"
"Don't get bitter, just get better"
"If I dream all the possibilities, if you just believe in your wildest dreams. They will come true"
SASHAY AWAY
