EunTalk: "Code-Switching"

[Eun-duru]

Hello everyone!
Welcome back to EunTalk, the show-thats-not-a-show.
It's more of a... "forums-cast". Like a pod-cast thats on the forums.
Here, we talk about thoughtful topics, that make you want to respond with your thoughts.
The last EunTalk recieved lots of feedback and views, so lets try for that again!

Today, I will be talking to you about code-switching, something you might not have heard of.
Let's get started!

Code-switching is something all of us do to survive. Basically, it's the act of changing your personality, demeanor, or behavior in order to conform to the people around you. For example, you might be more formal and polite to your teachers than to your friends. This is one of the more basic forms of code-switching.
In the classic novel "To Kill a Mockingbird", the character Calpurnia is more comfortable around her church friends, and tends to talk in more of a slang.

Some people might code-switch to make friends, or maybe they just want to fit in. This is exactly the issue I'm facing right now.
If you don't know, I'm heading to Brown University this summer to participate in "Summer@Brown". I will be living on the campus for 3 weeks, and taking a class called "Happiness: Philosophy and Psychology". If you are unsure what Brown University is, it is a high-tier Ivy League university with an acceptance rate of 9.3%. And if this doesn't make me scared enough, there's the factor that I might be alone.
See, this program is mainly composed of rich, Caucasian students, as described by the many articles and videos I've watched about it. I might be generalizing a group here, but I'm pretty sure not many of them are interested in the same things a middle-class Asian-American is interested in. For example, the majority of these students are probably interested in American pop artists such as Rihanna, while I am interested in Korean groups such as WJSN. It's quite difficult to fit in with people you have nothing in common in, especially if they're your dorm-mate!
So what do I do?
I've been considering this issue for a very long time now. I've heard people tell me that I should just change myself to fit in, but that would hurt so bad! This program lasts for almost a month... how could I do that?! I've also heard people tell me that there are many Asian-Americans as well, someone MUST be interested in K-Pop like me!
But this is exactly the mindset I had last year. Last year, I attended CTY, or John-Hopkins Center of Talented Youth, and attended a three week program at Haverford College. I expected lots of Asian-Americans, with interests in Korean/Japanese culture.
But nope.
This kind of person was NOWHERE to be found in the program. There were many Asian-Americans, yes, but none of them were into the things I was interested in. I settled with some kids that forced me to code-switch. I was never as happy as the other people in my hall. Everyone else found people they belonged with, and I never found mine.
So...?
What now?
I want some tips on surviving these 3 weeks at this camp. And I want to hear if you've ever experienced something like this!

Thanks for joining me for the second segment of "EunTalk!"
Baibai <3

 

[Deleted member 832]

Hello everyone!
Welcome back to EunTalk, the show-thats-not-a-show.
It's more of a... "forums-cast". Like a pod-cast thats on the forums.
Here, we talk about thoughtful topics, that make you want to respond with your thoughts.
The last EunTalk recieved lots of feedback and views, so lets try for that again!

Today, I will be talking to you about code-switching, something you might not have heard of.
Let's get started!

Code-switching is something all of us do to survive. Basically, it's the act of changing your personality, demeanor, or behavior in order to conform to the people around you. For example, you might be more formal and polite to your teachers than to your friends. This is one of the more basic forms of code-switching.
In the classic novel "To Kill a Mockingbird", the character Calpurnia is more comfortable around her church friends, and tends to talk in more of a slang.

Some people might code-switch to make friends, or maybe they just want to fit in. This is exactly the issue I'm facing right now.
If you don't know, I'm heading to Brown University this summer to participate in "Summer@Brown". I will be living on the campus for 3 weeks, and taking a class called "Happiness: Philosophy and Psychology". If you are unsure what Brown University is, it is a high-tier Ivy League university with an acceptance rate of 9.3%. And if this doesn't make me scared enough, there's the factor that I might be alone.
See, this program is mainly composed of rich, Caucasian students, as described by the many articles and videos I've watched about it. I might be generalizing a group here, but I'm pretty sure not many of them are interested in the same things a middle-class Asian-American is interested in. For example, the majority of these students are probably interested in American pop artists such as Rihanna, while I am interested in Korean groups such as WJSN. It's quite difficult to fit in with people you have nothing in common in, especially if they're your dorm-mate!
So what do I do?
I've been considering this issue for a very long time now. I've heard people tell me that I should just change myself to fit in, but that would hurt so bad! This program lasts for almost a month... how could I do that?! I've also heard people tell me that there are many Asian-Americans as well, someone MUST be interested in K-Pop like me!
But this is exactly the mindset I had last year. Last year, I attended CTY, or John-Hopkins Center of Talented Youth, and attended a three week program at Haverford College. I expected lots of Asian-Americans, with interests in Korean/Japanese culture.
But nope.
This kind of person was NOWHERE to be found in the program. There were many Asian-Americans, yes, but none of them were into the things I was interested in. I settled with some kids that forced me to code-switch. I was never as happy as the other people in my hall. Everyone else found people they belonged with, and I never found mine.
So...?
What now?
I want some tips on surviving these 3 weeks at this camp. And I want to hear if you've ever experienced something like this!

Thanks for joining me for the second segment of "EunTalk!"
Baibai <3

Eunmin, never change your style to make more friends. It's good to be different. ''If someone calls you weird, compliment them'' Ellen DeGenres

 

[TheDiamondTiger]

I recommend being yourself and you will meet people who may not share your interests, but like you as a person and will become your friend. Last summer I did an electrical engineering camp at Stanford and for the first few days I had 0 friends, but I soon made friends with some of the kids who shared very few interests with me. Granted I spent all my nights programming in the lab, but being yourself may sound like the worse advice you could get, but it actually works.

 

[Uni]

Hello everyone!
Welcome back to EunTalk, the show-thats-not-a-show.
It's more of a... "forums-cast". Like a pod-cast thats on the forums.
Here, we talk about thoughtful topics, that make you want to respond with your thoughts.
The last EunTalk recieved lots of feedback and views, so lets try for that again!

Today, I will be talking to you about code-switching, something you might not have heard of.
Let's get started!

Code-switching is something all of us do to survive. Basically, it's the act of changing your personality, demeanor, or behavior in order to conform to the people around you. For example, you might be more formal and polite to your teachers than to your friends. This is one of the more basic forms of code-switching.
In the classic novel "To Kill a Mockingbird", the character Calpurnia is more comfortable around her church friends, and tends to talk in more of a slang.

Some people might code-switch to make friends, or maybe they just want to fit in. This is exactly the issue I'm facing right now.
If you don't know, I'm heading to Brown University this summer to participate in "Summer@Brown". I will be living on the campus for 3 weeks, and taking a class called "Happiness: Philosophy and Psychology". If you are unsure what Brown University is, it is a high-tier Ivy League university with an acceptance rate of 9.3%. And if this doesn't make me scared enough, there's the factor that I might be alone.
See, this program is mainly composed of rich, Caucasian students, as described by the many articles and videos I've watched about it. I might be generalizing a group here, but I'm pretty sure not many of them are interested in the same things a middle-class Asian-American is interested in. For example, the majority of these students are probably interested in American pop artists such as Rihanna, while I am interested in Korean groups such as WJSN. It's quite difficult to fit in with people you have nothing in common in, especially if they're your dorm-mate!
So what do I do?
I've been considering this issue for a very long time now. I've heard people tell me that I should just change myself to fit in, but that would hurt so bad! This program lasts for almost a month... how could I do that?! I've also heard people tell me that there are many Asian-Americans as well, someone MUST be interested in K-Pop like me!
But this is exactly the mindset I had last year. Last year, I attended CTY, or John-Hopkins Center of Talented Youth, and attended a three week program at Haverford College. I expected lots of Asian-Americans, with interests in Korean/Japanese culture.
But nope.
This kind of person was NOWHERE to be found in the program. There were many Asian-Americans, yes, but none of them were into the things I was interested in. I settled with some kids that forced me to code-switch. I was never as happy as the other people in my hall. Everyone else found people they belonged with, and I never found mine.
So...?
What now?
I want some tips on surviving these 3 weeks at this camp. And I want to hear if you've ever experienced something like this!

Thanks for joining me for the second segment of "EunTalk!"
Baibai <3

Eun, don't change who you are! You're amazing! If people have a problem with your awesome, don't ever change it! It's honestly their problem...! And how other people telling you to change? Well, they should open their eyes and change their attitude! I used to not fit in, I'd be sad when ever I got home from school. But I found a true friend, someone who didn't tease me (bc i'm rly rly annoying xD) She liked who I was, and we fit in together. "A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes, while everyone else believes your smile". One of my friends like classical, and I like pop, but we still like each other for who we are! Of course you might go through some fights with your friends, it may hurt, I had that experience many (100x) times! But you will always remember each other and might get back together! And I luv Japenese/Korean stuff too! They are so kawaii! (esspecially animal drawings with big eyes!) Trust me, you will find your soulmate somewhere along your way, if you THINK you found her/him, maybe you were destined to be friends <3 Life can surprise you! Someone who has the same things as you, you might not even know its that person! I think you would do gr8 there during summer! Gl, and just be you and don't care what anyone else thinks! When you change to who you aren't, it hurts even more then getting hurt by being you! just remember: "Don't change yourself to impress someone, cause they should be impressed that you won't change to please people"!

 

[Jo3512]

Hello everyone!
Welcome back to EunTalk, the show-thats-not-a-show.
It's more of a... "forums-cast". Like a pod-cast thats on the forums.
Here, we talk about thoughtful topics, that make you want to respond with your thoughts.
The last EunTalk recieved lots of feedback and views, so lets try for that again!

Today, I will be talking to you about code-switching, something you might not have heard of.
Let's get started!

Code-switching is something all of us do to survive. Basically, it's the act of changing your personality, demeanor, or behavior in order to conform to the people around you. For example, you might be more formal and polite to your teachers than to your friends. This is one of the more basic forms of code-switching.
In the classic novel "To Kill a Mockingbird", the character Calpurnia is more comfortable around her church friends, and tends to talk in more of a slang.

Some people might code-switch to make friends, or maybe they just want to fit in. This is exactly the issue I'm facing right now.
If you don't know, I'm heading to Brown University this summer to participate in "Summer@Brown". I will be living on the campus for 3 weeks, and taking a class called "Happiness: Philosophy and Psychology". If you are unsure what Brown University is, it is a high-tier Ivy League university with an acceptance rate of 9.3%. And if this doesn't make me scared enough, there's the factor that I might be alone.
See, this program is mainly composed of rich, Caucasian students, as described by the many articles and videos I've watched about it. I might be generalizing a group here, but I'm pretty sure not many of them are interested in the same things a middle-class Asian-American is interested in. For example, the majority of these students are probably interested in American pop artists such as Rihanna, while I am interested in Korean groups such as WJSN. It's quite difficult to fit in with people you have nothing in common in, especially if they're your dorm-mate!
So what do I do?
I've been considering this issue for a very long time now. I've heard people tell me that I should just change myself to fit in, but that would hurt so bad! This program lasts for almost a month... how could I do that?! I've also heard people tell me that there are many Asian-Americans as well, someone MUST be interested in K-Pop like me!
But this is exactly the mindset I had last year. Last year, I attended CTY, or John-Hopkins Center of Talented Youth, and attended a three week program at Haverford College. I expected lots of Asian-Americans, with interests in Korean/Japanese culture.
But nope.
This kind of person was NOWHERE to be found in the program. There were many Asian-Americans, yes, but none of them were into the things I was interested in. I settled with some kids that forced me to code-switch. I was never as happy as the other people in my hall. Everyone else found people they belonged with, and I never found mine.
So...?
What now?
I want some tips on surviving these 3 weeks at this camp. And I want to hear if you've ever experienced something like this!

Thanks for joining me for the second segment of "EunTalk!"
Baibai <3

I believe, that one, should not simply "change" the way they act, so they can fit into a group of certain individuals. It is best for people to like you for who you are, than for one to like you, for the "Act" , so to speak, that you put on. However, This mostly your decision. I have known people to do this, just to "Try" it out, not so they can be liked, or fit in.

 

[lucyluhoo]

Ok, truth time fella's, I sadly say I change my attitude and behavior/ likes when I'm around certain people. Such as, popular group, I can't exactly act all crazy and wild / funny like I usually do, it's mostly just them but from my experience, don't change who you are Eunnie, you are perfect the way you are and if somebody calls you out on being different, stand up for your likes / dislikes. The world is changing and I want you to stay the 'diamond in the rough' Please stay confident, funny, loving and above all, kind. You are a strong girl that believes in good things as I would say. For the dorm room problem, if you would like, tell them about what you like so they get a bigger understanding of the world and it's likes / dislikes. Stay amazing Eunnie <3

 

[Trump15024]

Wow that's all I can say

 

[Death]

Don'tChange who you are to just fit in. Sometimes I feel alone being so childish when all my friends are so mature and they talk about stuff like the best actors in town but me just sitting there just listening but eventually I found someone where we have something in common and we are close friends

 

[Donut]

Eun, I saw somewhere in a psychology book I once was reading that usually people experiment with different personalities to see which ones work best with different sorts of people. It's a normal thing that so many people do in the world. But I believe that if you stick to your true personality you will some day find people who are just like you. What is the point of fitting in with the 'popular' group if you don't really like to hang out with them? Be true to your self and things will turn out all good, because you never know a person in that camp may also be Code-Switching as well! Also, have a fun time at camp!! I really hope things get better for you, I will be here at the side lines cheering you on

 

[Izzie]

this is hard for me to read bc the colours are so bright, but just stay yourself

 

[Powerfull]

Eun~ Honestly, I have nothing to say. This is what sets you apart from other people, who choose to be focused on themselves. I fully agree with the decision to accept you as a helper. You really bring out the aspects that make people who they are, and show how much you really do care. It truly shows who you are through these post, so keep it up!

 

[coitanthecoyfish]

Nice thread but your true

 

[Pixel]

this is hard for me to read bc the colours are so bright, but just stay yourself

Same, I had to highlight the text to read it.

 

[Hidden124]

If you try to act differently around certain people just so you can be around them or because you want them to be your friends, you will make the wrong friends."Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will you for the real you."

 

[Heather]

There is a difference between being polite to adults and people above you that you should respect and completely changing your personality around a certain group of people. You should always be yourself and if you don't fit in a group, don't force yourself to fit it, just go find somewhere you fit better. (And don't change how you act just because people you need to impress are around, this is wrong because they will eventually find out that you were not being yourself) Being fake is pretty horrible both for you and the people you're with. You shouldn't ever fake who you are because it just creates stress for you and can be problematic for the people you're with for many reasons. Having experience with several dorm assignments over the years, just remember to be polite and a good roommate even if you don't get along too well. In the end, you guys will live together but don't force yourself to be friends otherwise it will make living together a nightmare. Part of growing up is learning that you should always be polite and able to communicate well even if you and them don't have similar interests or personalities. I've found that my coworkers at my in real life job have mastered this well but some of my college friends and people I have met online still have some learning to do. Keep this at heart, be kind and friendly even if you don't get along but above all, be yourself not something fake to make friends or impress people. In the end, you'll appreciate not having to fake your way through an already unhealthy group of friends or relationships.

 

[Jo3512]

Same, I had to highlight the text to read it.

sameeeeeeeeeeee