Stepping Down From Staff + Less Active.

[Eun-duru]

Hello everyone,
I would like to announce that I am voluntarily stepping down from staff.
Below are my reasons.

1) Why I say "stepping down".
I feel like I put myself on too high a pedestal, and I got too narcissistic. In Latin class, during our Mythology unit, we learned about a certain character named Narcissus, who was obsessed with himself. In a way, I feel like I reflect him. I attracted lots of likes very quickly, opened a cafe named after myself, and riled up too much attention on my status. I felt like the power and slight fame on the server was getting to me. Never did I want it to get it to this point, where it seemed like I only cared about myself. Of course I liked it at first, when people constantly said hello, and "congrats on staff", but eventually it got serious. I started thinking maybe I'm being too selfish. The line was crossed when I opened up a cafe named EunBucks, with my name built into it.

2) Why I'm quitting staff itself.
At first, when I applied for staff, I thought it would be a simple task. Help players, be active often, be overall a good role model. I thought I was an excellent candidate for staff, and apparently fellow staff agreed. To be honest, I didn't expect a message from staff asking me to join. But once I did, I thought I had actual potential, that I was a good person who deserved this.
But soon, the job got difficult.
At first, I was overwhelmed with messages all at once, and I had breakdowns out of anxiety. You think I'm joking. I would literally be sitting, on my phone, and instantly hop online in fear that I wasn't being active enough. Even when I was studying, I would constantly think about all the time I was wasting. To me, it seemed like the other staff were always online. Were they robots? Did they not have other things to do? Eventually, all of this pressure turned being a staff into a job. A full time job, which I did not enjoy. Sure, I enjoyed the feeling of helping people, but I really didn't want to log on in the first place. For a while, I was completely inactive, and I just played occasionally on Mineplex. I was scared. I was so scared of being locked into the server, yet I hated myself for not being active.
Then staff evaluations for the end of the month came out, and this is where I snapped.
I read my evaluation, and my name was in red. I had a reprimanding, and my message was harsh. I was punished for being inactive, and I had to hold in my tears. For the next days, I could not stop thinking about how cruel this job was, and how difficult it was to keep it up. I cried to my boyfriend, the only person that knew about my Minecraft career, and he told me to quit if it made me too upset.
So I kept in mind what he said, and decided to give it one last shot. Soon, things were back on track. I was active often, I helped people, determined to improve my evaluation. But this didn't last long, as exams and end-of-year events slammed me hard. I was better off studying and preparing for finals than to be helping out people virtually on a video game. My mom would constantly yell at me, giving me hour-long, tearful lectures about college. She told me I had no time left, and that I had absolutely no time to waste. It was at this point where I was seriously considering quitting.
Then this morning arrived, where it just clicked in my mind. I checked Skype to see that a staff member had messaged me, reminding me of my evaluation. I was trying my hardest to forget about it and improve myself, but this made it all click. I needed to quit. It was not worth it, with all of the work I had in real life.
On top of all of this, my friends, who were former staff, both quit staff. They were the reason I wanted to be staff in the first place. Being the principals of the school, they looked so cool, and I wanted to be like them. But with them gone, I see another reason to quit the job. I do not have enough time in my harsh schedule, and I am too busy planning for college.
That might not be the best reason to quit, but it is definitely the honest one. I will not go out with false kindness, rather the truth of what I experienced.

3) My current plan.
I will no longer be as active, and I will be focusing my time on finals and school-related activities. I will be a counselor at a summer camp for the first week of my summer, then I will be taking a summer course at Brown University.
I am also letting go of EunBucks. Decisions of who will get it will be made later.
For now, I will be just another member, who casually plays with her friends. I do not believe I am ready for a role like staff. I simply do not have the time, being a student with a jam-packed schedule.

As a final note, I would like to say thank you.
For a while, you made me get over my harsh reality, and gave me people to talk to. I made close friends with a bunch of females, which I have few to none of in real life. I felt popular, and I regained my confidence. I now walk out of the job feeling more responsible, and feeling more confident with myself.
I would also like to thank Nibble/Kiri, for talking to me about the job when I was initially scared of my fellow staff. I was a new helper, who was intimidated by the experience of the team, and I just needed someone to talk to like a friend.

Thank you to all of my friends.
- Keona/Willow, you were the girlfriend I always wanted. Even though we weren't staff together at the same time, we quickly became friends.
- EnderPort, you made my experience extremely fun and I loved seeing your hilarious messages on my profile page.
- Cp42, you made me feel like I was talented, like I was a figure in the world with a special something. You almost made me cry with your messages. Thank you.
- Jo3512, you helped me in the first days of being a helper. You allowed to me feel more comfortable as staff, and reminded me to calm down when I was overwhelmed.
- And to all of my fellow staff, even though you seriously scared me, thank you for being my mentors. You quickly incorporated me into your group, and made me feel like I belonged in staff.

Even though this was short, it was definitely amazing.
Thank you,
Eun <3.

 

[Izzie]

I can relate to your second reason. I was always scared, always worried, always feeling I wasn't good enough. I wish you the best eun, you've always been super kind and caring.

 

[Trump15024]

Well that was a short a time lol good luck

 

[Bleach]

Well that was a short a time lol good luck

Doesn't really seem like you care, eun was a good helper.

 

[Coban]

I have had moderated in the past on much larger scales than Minecraft's -- I know how bothering it can get at times, but I think you failed to see the main point behind all of it.

I've always given chances, because I know everyone is different. One thing I have asked for which was minimal activity, however that was not met.
Nor have you ever talked to me privately, or publicly about not having time, I'd have surely tried to help with that, and would have worked it out. But that was not done either.

What I mean is, how can I help you when you haven't told me you need it to begin with?

This is a tip for you in the future; never stress over job, or in fact anything in life. It's not worth putting time and energy into stress while you can use that energy to make a schedule to work everything out.

I have always believed in two things, teamwork, and not blowing your engines (Which means not being constantly active).
1) Work is distributed among the staff team, that is why there are ranks [Better management & efficiency]
2) Working the minimal if you don't have time for setting a record

Also, you shouldn't be trying to forget about the evaluations, they were made to motivate and allow you to progress. You shouldn't have let it bring you down, but instead use it to be better, and prove it wrong. [If you consider evaluations to have been your worst enemy, then in fact should have learned from it. Your worst enemy is your best teacher, because they show your weakness]

Goodluck.

 

[Powerfull]

Hello everyone,
I would like to announce that I am voluntarily stepping down from staff.
Below are my reasons.

1) Why I say "stepping down".
I feel like I put myself on too high a pedestal, and I got too narcissistic. In Latin class, during our Mythology unit, we learned about a certain character named Narcissus, who was obsessed with himself. In a way, I feel like I reflect him. I attracted lots of likes very quickly, opened a cafe named after myself, and riled up too much attention on my status. I felt like the power and slight fame on the server was getting to me. Never did I want it to get it to this point, where it seemed like I only cared about myself. Of course I liked it at first, when people constantly said hello, and "congrats on staff", but eventually it got serious. I started thinking maybe I'm being too selfish. The line was crossed when I opened up a cafe named EunBucks, with my name built into it.

2) Why I'm quitting staff itself.
At first, when I applied for staff, I thought it would be a simple task. Help players, be active often, be overall a good role model. I thought I was an excellent candidate for staff, and apparently fellow staff agreed. To be honest, I didn't expect a message from staff asking me to join. But once I did, I thought I had actual potential, that I was a good person who deserved this.
But soon, the job got difficult.
At first, I was overwhelmed with messages all at once, and I had breakdowns out of anxiety. You think I'm joking. I would literally be sitting, on my phone, and instantly hop online in fear that I wasn't being active enough. Even when I was studying, I would constantly think about all the time I was wasting. To me, it seemed like the other staff were always online. Were they robots? Did they not have other things to do? Eventually, all of this pressure turned being a staff into a job. A full time job, which I did not enjoy. Sure, I enjoyed the feeling of helping people, but I really didn't want to log on in the first place. For a while, I was completely inactive, and I just played occasionally on Mineplex. I was scared. I was so scared of being locked into the server, yet I hated myself for not being active.
Then staff evaluations for the end of the month came out, and this is where I snapped.
I read my evaluation, and my name was in red. I had a reprimanding, and my message was harsh. I was punished for being inactive, and I had to hold in my tears. For the next days, I could not stop thinking about how cruel this job was, and how difficult it was to keep it up. I cried to my boyfriend, the only person that knew about my Minecraft career, and he told me to quit if it made me too upset.
So I kept in mind what he said, and decided to give it one last shot. Soon, things were back on track. I was active often, I helped people, determined to improve my evaluation. But this didn't last long, as exams and end-of-year events slammed me hard. I was better off studying and preparing for finals than to be helping out people virtually on a video game. My mom would constantly yell at me, giving me hour-long, tearful lectures about college. She told me I had no time left, and that I had absolutely no time to waste. It was at this point where I was seriously considering quitting.
Then this morning arrived, where it just clicked in my mind. I checked Skype to see that a staff member had messaged me, reminding me of my evaluation. I was trying my hardest to forget about it and improve myself, but this made it all click. I needed to quit. It was not worth it, with all of the work I had in real life.
On top of all of this, my friends, who were former staff, both quit staff. They were the reason I wanted to be staff in the first place. Being the principals of the school, they looked so cool, and I wanted to be like them. But with them gone, I see another reason to quit the job. I do not have enough time in my harsh schedule, and I am too busy planning for college.
That might not be the best reason to quit, but it is definitely the honest one. I will not go out with false kindness, rather the truth of what I experienced.

3) My current plan.
I will no longer be as active, and I will be focusing my time on finals and school-related activities. I will be a counselor at a summer camp for the first week of my summer, then I will be taking a summer course at Brown University.
I am also letting go of EunBucks. Decisions of who will get it will be made later.
For now, I will be just another member, who casually plays with her friends. I do not believe I am ready for a role like staff. I simply do not have the time, being a student with a jam-packed schedule.

As a final note, I would like to say thank you.
For a while, you made me get over my harsh reality, and gave me people to talk to. I made close friends with a bunch of females, which I have few to none of in real life. I felt popular, and I regained my confidence. I now walk out of the job feeling more responsible, and feeling more confident with myself.
I would also like to thank Nibble/Kiri, for talking to me about the job when I was initially scared of my fellow staff. I was a new helper, who was intimidated by the experience of the team, and I just needed someone to talk to like a friend.

Thank you to all of my friends.
- Keona/Willow, you were the girlfriend I always wanted. Even though we weren't staff together at the same time, we quickly became friends.
- EnderPort, you made my experience extremely fun and I loved seeing your hilarious messages on my profile page.
- Cp42, you made me feel like I was talented, like I was a figure in the world with a special something. You almost made me cry with your messages. Thank you.
- Jo3512, you helped me in the first days of being a helper. You allowed to me feel more comfortable as staff, and reminded me to calm down when I was overwhelmed.
- And to all of my fellow staff, even though you seriously scared me, thank you for being my mentors. You quickly incorporated me into your group, and made me feel like I belonged in staff.

Even though this was short, it was definitely amazing.
Thank you,
Eun <3.

Aww... Eunmin!!! I have always loved seeing your forums posts, including this one! I do not mean that in a rude way, but rather in a happy way. I hate that you found being a staff member hard, and I really hope that you have a great life, outside of minecraft. I think we should be sad you are going, but not upset at you- we should rejoice with you that you are making the right decision. I know this kinda sounds weird, but I too have had problems with self- inflicted pain. The way I interpret this is that helper is not all the glory you thought it would be. I really hope that you have a great time outside of minecraft, and your note about me makes me feel special. I was saying what I meant, and I hope you recongnise this too. If you need anything, please msg me in game or on forums!
Enjoy summer,

Cp42

 

[Wonder]

Aw Eun, even though I didn't get to know you I always liked when you posted and it always made me happy, i remember when you joined and I had a feeling you would be something and i didn't know what. I remember when you got teacher then helper. I wish i got to know you more ;3;
~Wonder

 

[Deleted member 832]

Hello everyone,
I would like to announce that I am voluntarily stepping down from staff.
Below are my reasons.

1) Why I say "stepping down".
I feel like I put myself on too high a pedestal, and I got too narcissistic. In Latin class, during our Mythology unit, we learned about a certain character named Narcissus, who was obsessed with himself. In a way, I feel like I reflect him. I attracted lots of likes very quickly, opened a cafe named after myself, and riled up too much attention on my status. I felt like the power and slight fame on the server was getting to me. Never did I want it to get it to this point, where it seemed like I only cared about myself. Of course I liked it at first, when people constantly said hello, and "congrats on staff", but eventually it got serious. I started thinking maybe I'm being too selfish. The line was crossed when I opened up a cafe named EunBucks, with my name built into it.

2) Why I'm quitting staff itself.
At first, when I applied for staff, I thought it would be a simple task. Help players, be active often, be overall a good role model. I thought I was an excellent candidate for staff, and apparently fellow staff agreed. To be honest, I didn't expect a message from staff asking me to join. But once I did, I thought I had actual potential, that I was a good person who deserved this.
But soon, the job got difficult.
At first, I was overwhelmed with messages all at once, and I had breakdowns out of anxiety. You think I'm joking. I would literally be sitting, on my phone, and instantly hop online in fear that I wasn't being active enough. Even when I was studying, I would constantly think about all the time I was wasting. To me, it seemed like the other staff were always online. Were they robots? Did they not have other things to do? Eventually, all of this pressure turned being a staff into a job. A full time job, which I did not enjoy. Sure, I enjoyed the feeling of helping people, but I really didn't want to log on in the first place. For a while, I was completely inactive, and I just played occasionally on Mineplex. I was scared. I was so scared of being locked into the server, yet I hated myself for not being active.
Then staff evaluations for the end of the month came out, and this is where I snapped.
I read my evaluation, and my name was in red. I had a reprimanding, and my message was harsh. I was punished for being inactive, and I had to hold in my tears. For the next days, I could not stop thinking about how cruel this job was, and how difficult it was to keep it up. I cried to my boyfriend, the only person that knew about my Minecraft career, and he told me to quit if it made me too upset.
So I kept in mind what he said, and decided to give it one last shot. Soon, things were back on track. I was active often, I helped people, determined to improve my evaluation. But this didn't last long, as exams and end-of-year events slammed me hard. I was better off studying and preparing for finals than to be helping out people virtually on a video game. My mom would constantly yell at me, giving me hour-long, tearful lectures about college. She told me I had no time left, and that I had absolutely no time to waste. It was at this point where I was seriously considering quitting.
Then this morning arrived, where it just clicked in my mind. I checked Skype to see that a staff member had messaged me, reminding me of my evaluation. I was trying my hardest to forget about it and improve myself, but this made it all click. I needed to quit. It was not worth it, with all of the work I had in real life.
On top of all of this, my friends, who were former staff, both quit staff. They were the reason I wanted to be staff in the first place. Being the principals of the school, they looked so cool, and I wanted to be like them. But with them gone, I see another reason to quit the job. I do not have enough time in my harsh schedule, and I am too busy planning for college.
That might not be the best reason to quit, but it is definitely the honest one. I will not go out with false kindness, rather the truth of what I experienced.

3) My current plan.
I will no longer be as active, and I will be focusing my time on finals and school-related activities. I will be a counselor at a summer camp for the first week of my summer, then I will be taking a summer course at Brown University.
I am also letting go of EunBucks. Decisions of who will get it will be made later.
For now, I will be just another member, who casually plays with her friends. I do not believe I am ready for a role like staff. I simply do not have the time, being a student with a jam-packed schedule.

As a final note, I would like to say thank you.
For a while, you made me get over my harsh reality, and gave me people to talk to. I made close friends with a bunch of females, which I have few to none of in real life. I felt popular, and I regained my confidence. I now walk out of the job feeling more responsible, and feeling more confident with myself.
I would also like to thank Nibble/Kiri, for talking to me about the job when I was initially scared of my fellow staff. I was a new helper, who was intimidated by the experience of the team, and I just needed someone to talk to like a friend.

Thank you to all of my friends.
- Keona/Willow, you were the girlfriend I always wanted. Even though we weren't staff together at the same time, we quickly became friends.
- EnderPort, you made my experience extremely fun and I loved seeing your hilarious messages on my profile page.
- Cp42, you made me feel like I was talented, like I was a figure in the world with a special something. You almost made me cry with your messages. Thank you.
- Jo3512, you helped me in the first days of being a helper. You allowed to me feel more comfortable as staff, and reminded me to calm down when I was overwhelmed.
- And to all of my fellow staff, even though you seriously scared me, thank you for being my mentors. You quickly incorporated me into your group, and made me feel like I belonged in staff.

Even though this was short, it was definitely amazing.
Thank you,
Eun <3.

Eun, i keep a list of all my minecraft friends so if they leave or disappear I can always reconnect. You top this list, you are such a fun kind person and you shared my love of all things Oreo. Good luck in life Eunmin, I wish you the best!

Barnaby

 

[AyanTheAwesome]

It's sad to hear that your leaving... I never received the opportunity to talk to you in-game, but I've seen your posts on forums. You seemed like a very kind, determined and hardworking person.

Good Luck with collage!

 

[Deleted member 832]

I'm crying right now. It's just proof that total strangers can change someone's life... good luck Eunmin

 

[Trump15024]

Doesn't really seem like you care, eun was a good helper.

`Me and Eun are friends

 

[Trump15024]

I have had moderated in the past on much larger scales than Minecraft's -- I know how bothering it can get at times, but I think you failed to see the main point behind all of it.

I've always given chances, because I know everyone is different. One thing I have asked for which was minimal activity, however that was not met.
Nor have you ever talked to me privately, or publicly about not having time, I'd have surely tried to help with that, and would have worked it out. But that was not done either.

What I mean is, how can I help you when you haven't told me you need it to begin with?

This is a tip for you in the future; never stress over job, or in fact anything in life. It's not worth putting time and energy into stress while you can use that energy to make a schedule to work everything out.

I have always believed in two things, teamwork, and not blowing your engines (Which means not being constantly active).
1) Work is distributed among the staff team, that is why there are ranks [Better management & efficiency]
2) Working the minimal if you don't have time for setting a record

Also, you shouldn't be trying to forget about the evaluations, they were made to motivate and allow you to progress. You shouldn't have let it bring you down, but instead use it to be better, and prove it wrong. [If you consider evaluations to have been your worst enemy, then in fact should have learned from it. Your worst enemy is your best teacher, because they show your weakness]

Goodluck.

I think Coban Sums it up! Listen when you are stressed just remember time goes by fast and it will be over soon. I think Helpers are very important here Eun and we will miss you.

 

[Toryn]

aw, eunmin you have been one of the nicest staff members ever but I totally get why you are quitting about being stressed about going on different servers and not being active enough but don't worry we will always love you eunmin and you still are a amazing anime maid ;3 xD but we all love you eunmin and we wish you the best!

 

[lucyluhoo]

Eunnie, I think this was a good decision for you especially if it made you cry. Activity wise yes, staff should be pretty active as this server is busy but my tip is, fit the staff team or any job into your life when you are free. A job doesn't control you nor your decisions. Trust me when I say, every job is stressful at times. For example, I am an entrepreneur and when I constantly have messages spamming me, it is extremely stressful but it helps to step back for a couple hours and relax. Even though we weren't staff together, I saw your work, I saw your commitment and your friendliness, those are hard to find these days. Please Eunnie, keep your virtues, you are an amazing girl worth more than I can say. Do what you love and don't let anybody force you into something you don't love. -Lucy

~~ For new staff members in the future, if you ever think you can't do something / stressed out / want to take a break for a couple of hours, I would definitely message Coban or Kiri as their tips help a lot. For my experience, Kiri and Coban helped my mental / emotional state quite a few times. Also, as they are owners they control the staff team and talking to them would be best over anybody else.

 

[Heather]

Eun, you always seemed like a wonderfully pleasant person to be around. I enjoyed that we had a tiny connection with Chinese, even if you are fluent and I only have my three semesters of it, and the moral and intellectual discussions that came from your forum posts. Our schedules didn't match up much, so i'm terribly sorry to say that we never had a chance to talk as much as I have with other staff members. I wish you would have reached out to all of us as a whole, because as a team we always intend to be like a family. Yeah, it can be stressful at times to work for a server but we always care for each other and try to help each other improve in any way possible.

I know what you say when you call it stressful. I'm a college biology student who also has a real life job. So amid the papers, and labs, exams, and my shifts at work, sometimes it's hard to find time to play a game. I'm the type of person who is extremely dedicated, when I commit to something I give it one hundred percent. It always kills me to post in the staff chat about my work schedule, or to be stuck at work when everyone else is having fun or on the server doing work. I always feel pressured, to do my best, to be impressive and cared about by people I want to care about me. And something I've been dealing with lately, is that sometimes that caring won't be there, I will always reach a point where how much I care is not reciprocated and I shouldn't let that bother me. I've faced a lot of things as a staff member and I've seen fellow staff members deal with things as well. Personally, I've had times where i'd be sitting there crying as I helped people because I was the only staff member online and it was stressful having so many people who needed me and there being only so much of me. There's only so much I can do sometimes, and people expect me to have all the answers or the ability to fix anything. I've felt like absolute garbage from people, staff, and the server sometimes, even from the people I consider most important to me. Only a few people know about this, and now i'm saying it now publicly because I don't want you to feel alone. You, and I, and everyone are just humans who undertook a commitment to help other people. It's a great experience but we are only humans, and sometimes we need to take care of ourselves first.

I agree with what Coban has said above. Sometimes we can sound a bit harsh when we are only trying to help you improve, but we certainly cant help if we don't know what's going on. In the end all that matters is that we learn from things, not grow to resent people or things because they appear negative. I'm sorry that we appeared scary, but we are a tight knit family most of the time, who will support each other through anything if we know the issues that each other face. If we know what's going on, we can add that to our understanding of performance and support you as you grow and learn. I wish you all the best in the world, and hope that your summer camp goes well. (I used to love being a summer camp counselor and hate that my work schedule does not allow for it anymore!) Please do not hesitate to contact me if you ever need a friend to talk to, i'm always here for every single one of the players and I only wish to be a big sister to my wonderful staff family. With your dedication to school and your family, i'm sure you will go far in life. Just keep working hard and i'm sure the opportunities will open up in front of you.

 

[Donut]

Man, this tugged my heartstrings. Eun, even though I wasn't able to see you in-game helper as much or at all (because of all my stupid tests..) I think that this was the right choice. For some reason, I can see how it feels to have all this workload on your back and the pressure to be on the server each and everyday, and it isn't good. Judging by how you are in the forums, you seemed to be a very nice person that is easy to talk to! Good luck at school and all your finals, you'll get through it!!

 

[Izzie]

I have had moderated in the past on much larger scales than Minecraft's -- I know how bothering it can get at times, but I think you failed to see the main point behind all of it.

I've always given chances, because I know everyone is different. One thing I have asked for which was minimal activity, however that was not met.
Nor have you ever talked to me privately, or publicly about not having time, I'd have surely tried to help with that, and would have worked it out. But that was not done either.

What I mean is, how can I help you when you haven't told me you need it to begin with?

This is a tip for you in the future; never stress over job, or in fact anything in life. It's not worth putting time and energy into stress while you can use that energy to make a schedule to work everything out.

I have always believed in two things, teamwork, and not blowing your engines (Which means not being constantly active).
1) Work is distributed among the staff team, that is why there are ranks [Better management & efficiency]
2) Working the minimal if you don't have time for setting a record

Also, you shouldn't be trying to forget about the evaluations, they were made to motivate and allow you to progress. You shouldn't have let it bring you down, but instead use it to be better, and prove it wrong. [If you consider evaluations to have been your worst enemy, then in fact should have learned from it. Your worst enemy is your best teacher, because they show your weakness]

Goodluck.

This is late, but I feel like it should be said seeing as Eun has made another post similar to this and I still feel its unfair for her. Eun and I both notified the whole staff team each time we were inactive, I remember worriedly sending messages to the group saying how sorry I was that I was busy but apparently that wasnt enough. If I gave you notices about not having time to come on, why did I not receive help or at least a message trying to work things out. When we tried to be active we were ignored. And if the evaluations were to help why did you say things about how unhappy and disappointed you were, I feel like that doesnt really motivate people. In a way it just made me feel anxious and worried, made me have to spend my time trying to impress you when I was meant to be doing important things. This wasnt said to argue, I said this so Eun doesnt feel so bad and that I can finally state what I thought was wrong.

 

[Coban]

This is late, but I feel like it should be said seeing as Eun has made another post similar to this and I still feel its unfair for her. Eun and I both notified the whole staff team each time we were inactive, I remember worriedly sending messages to the group saying how sorry I was that I was busy but apparently that wasnt enough. If I gave you notices about not having time to come on, why did I not receive help or at least a message trying to work things out. When we tried to be active we were ignored. And if the evaluations were to help why did you say things about how unhappy and disappointed you were, I feel like that doesnt really motivate people. In a way it just made me feel anxious and worried, made me have to spend my time trying to impress you when I was meant to be doing important things. This wasnt said to argue, I said this so Eun doesnt feel so bad and that I can finally state what I thought was wrong.

I understand what you mean.

There is a difference between saying you are going inactive, and privately messaging one of the owners with specific reasons, attempting to fix the situation with them, so we together can come up with a solution.
How can I know what you are going through or what the issue is if you don't tell me? You could be inactive for any reason, I'd never know if you don't tell me; the one who manages staff. It is my job, no matter how bothering it is, it's my duty to help my team.

I get your idea behind evaluations, but let me ask you this -- One cannot be disappointed unless they set their expectations high for someone or something, correct? I felt you both had great potential, since the very first day you were interviewed on. If I were in your position, that alone would have motivated me enough to prove the owner, and the evals wrong.

I meant to push you, motivate you, and if I lie during my evaluation of your performance then I'm doing you no good. Evals allows me to freely tell staff what they need improvement on (which was and is still highly requested) without putting pressure on them, such as "Oh, I am currently inactive, am I going to be demoted?" -- By using evaluations and reprimands, I can allow you to keep track of your progress.