So, the day has finally come. As you can see in the title, I will be resigning from my role as admin on McCities. It’s been a wonderful time with you guys, and I do not regret spending as many hours as I have helping all of the players I have come across in my time as staff. I want to stay, and I want to continue to help people, but this place is not good for me emotionally or psychologically because of several reasons which I will go into below.
Players have the right to know the truth about this place, and what it’s staff members deal with to help you guys. Being staff is a job, a hard one at that, but it’s made even harder by having dedication that others do not. If we all worked together as a team, everything would be a lot easier. But some staff members throughout my time as admin have spent more time messing around, ignoring people, and breaking rules which only added to my workload and made me insanely stressed. I would do anything, and have, to arrange my schedule to help people. But I should not be the only person who can manage their time well enough to be able to do things, especially among the upper staff team.
I’ve told a lot of you guys to be patient, that the owners will look at your bug report, your ban appeal for a ban they did, that things that are broken will be fixed soon. But it’s been months, and a lot of you realize that coming to me will do nothing. Our admins are not like other server admins, they are basically just mods who have been around a long time with basic perms and worldedit/city access. I wasn’t even able to ban longer than a week until a few weeks before Ciel became admin. So I’m sorry that I was never able to do bug reports or add things to the server for you guys. They will deny this, but I spent ages (as did Ciel and Kate) reporting issues with the server and things that we could not do, which were promptly ignored. Over half of what Ciel and I reported or suggested in upper staff chat was ignored, things we added to the “to do list” were removed without being done. (Told to be impossible but later changed to “would take too much time”) It is my belief that together a team can find solutions to anything one person cannot, but some people prefer not to communicate and collaborate to better the server.
There is someone I will not name, but deserves a little infamous shout out too. You know who you are off of how you treated our friendship, and me, when you became staff. Yeah, I know it sucks having your friend have to teach you right and wrong as a staff member and we all make mistakes, but pay attention and try to check before you act. There was no reason to say such horrible things to me in Skype, nor try to act all lovey afterwards to try and make up for it. I hate fake people, especially fake friends. I’m saddened to see how many of them there are around here.
For all of the rest of you staff members out there, I have loved working with each of you differently. Most of the time I have enjoyed our interactions and value you all for the people you are. Yeah, there’s been iffy times, but in the end we were all just volunteers helping players. Try to work hard, and help players well, but do not allow the server to become an addiction like I did. Do not let the lies and the excuses drag you down as much as I did. And always know that I am here for you and will support you in your journey now that mine is over. You will face the same things as I did, once you are no longer a new staff member and your time of favoritism is over. But remember that you are here for the players, and if you put them first above all else you will love what you do and enjoy being staff for the pure joy of helping people.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, resigned from a place I love so much and worked so hard for. I still love the server and it’s people, and will most likely check in here and there to see you all. Just know, that the players and the community and my life are not the reason I am leaving. I’m leaving very specifically because of how the upper staff is and the year of being ignored and taken advantage of while others sit around. Ciel and Kate worked hard for this place, and without them I cannot do it all alone.
I am sorry for anyone that I have upset in my actions as a staff member on the server, and for times I have gotten upset from stress or the situations and lost my temper. I tried my very hardest to be just and fair with the players, and lenient when the time came.
My proudest accomplishment is the /warp shop area, which was empty and the shop mainly had nothing to sell when I became admin a year ago. The shop is full of things to sell and buy now, and the area has plenty of new buildings and things inside that make the area more interesting for roleplay and the city.
Thank you all for an amazing year, and the support you’ve given me throughout it. You can always contact me privately if you need a big sister to rely on. A few special shout outs to players who had kind words, names are gone but you know who you are.
“If you do, I will miss you Heather <3, I can understand your choice and I don't feel like blocking it. Even tho I really would like you to stay.”
“ no matter what you choice..... i just wanted you to know that i will remember you forever. You are such a kind person. And you taught me a lesson ill remember for the rest of my life: I used to want to be just like you, thats y i once applied for helper, each time i was always rejected, and one time you told me "Just Be Yourself" and that made me relized, i cant be "just like @hm_shi" ihave to me myself, there is only 1 heather and i need to be me so thank you for that lesson “
“hm_shi, to be honest with you, I want you to quit. You have been giving all your effort into helping this server grow, but nobody has been helping you out as much, or giving you what you deserve for it. You still have the whole world outside of this server that you could be helping. I think you should let the owners handle the rest. You have been helping so much to help this server grow, and now it should be their turn. If they don't participate into helping the server this time, then the server is going to eventually die, and it will be all their fault. You have meant a lot to this server, but like everyone else, there is a time to just leave, and move in with life.”
“hm_shi , if you decided to resign, we will always be here for you. I personally belive your an amazing staff member, and an even more amazing person. And no matter what you choose, i will always see you as the same amazing person. you have always shown me so much love and kindness, and no matter what you choose, make sure you make the right choice for you, dont let the thought of what others will think change your mind, you should choose what you feel is right. And no matter what you choose, i will wish you the best in the future “
https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night
